Several months ago I began to expunge the word “lazy” from my vocabulary. I still use it in limited circumstances, primarily for describing cats. But I no longer use it to describe myself or other people, in single or in aggregate.
Where I would previously have used the term “lazy”, I now use one of the following:
- Executive dysfunction – I sat around all day because I was feeling lazy struggling with executive dysfunction.
- Anxious – I was too lazy anxious to go out.
- Tired – I didn’t open my post because I was so lazy
- Prioritise – they don’t clean up after themselves because they’re lazy not prioritising it.
- Incurious – this is a surface level and lazy incurious analysis.
- …and many others as required.
I think the term “lazy” is itself rather lazy, or more accurately incurious. It lumps together several distinct experiences, making it impossible to meaningfully engage with the specific experience being described as lazy. If I say I’m too lazy to do the dishes, what do I mean? Do I mean I don’t want to prioritise doing the dishes, and I’d rather prioritise playing Pokémon Go? Do I mean that I’m exhausted and don’t have the energy to do the dishes? Do I mean that I keep trying to do the dishes, but can’t figure out where to start and so it keeps not happening? The answer may not be clear to me – but if I say I’m lazy and end my inquiry there, I will never identify the problem and thus never fix the problem. The dishes will remain undone.
There is another, more important reason that I’ve stopped saying “lazy”: it contributes to neuronormativity and neurosupremacy. “Lazy” is not a neutral word. It doesn’t simply mean “not completing tasks” – it means “not completing tasks because of a personal failing”. To say someone is lazy is to say that there are deficiencies in their character. But often the behaviours characterised as lazy are the behaviours common in neurodiverse people, behaviours such as “not taking out the rubbish”, “getting something delivered instead of walking five minutes down the street” or “not answering emails”. When your executive function doesn’t work properly any task, no matter how trivial, can be a hefty challenge. Because all humans struggle with executive function on occasion, this is a thing that affects all humans – but neurodiverse people a disproportionate amount.
“Laziness” places a singular moral judgement onto a multiplicity of experiences, and that moral judgement encourages the characterisation of neurodiverse people (or anyone struggling with anxiety, or executive function, or exhaustion) as less good. I have rarely spoken to a neurodiverse adult who didn’t grow up berating themselves for being lazy. Neurodiverse children shouldn’t have to go through years of self-loathing because they’re “lazy”. Neurodiverse children should know that struggling to undertake a task is not a moral failing.
Of course, sometimes people don’t complete tasks because they simply don’t care enough to prioritise them. Your housemate might truly not care about leaving their dirty plates all over the living room, and is prioritising going out with their friends over pulling their weight in your shared living space. This behaviour does deserve a moral judgement. But we need to be able to distinguish between housemates that leave plates everywhere because they don’t care, and housemates that leave plates everywhere because they don’t know how not to. Calling both “lazy” without further inquiry doesn’t help in understanding or altering that behaviour.
Referring to yourself as lazy flattens your experience and discourages you from asking questions that might help you diagnose the problem – questions like “how do I feel when I imagine doing [task]?” or “what am I spending my time on other than [task]?”. Referring to others as lazy clouds our perception of them, interfering with our ability to notice what they’re struggling with or how they’re prioritising their commitments. “Lazy” makes it harder to support those who need it, to hold to account those who deserve it, and to treat ourselves with tenderness. “Lazy” contributes to neurosupremacy.
“Lazy” isn’t real. Stop saying it.
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